1. |
Curtain Call (Intro)
01:24
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2. |
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I live down on the boulevard of helplessness
Where hopes and dreams die
I was born in times of bombs and constant stress
Where death was better than being alive
Welcome to the show of the kids stuck below
There are tons of attractions here to hold your eyes
Like blood and death and hopelessness
We hope that you won’t cry
Down on the boulevard we kick and scream
And quietly hope that we won’t have to stay
Down here the kids all sit and we dream
While our parents sit around and pray
I live down on the boulevard of helplessness
Where hopes and dreams die
There’s no point in running
You’re stuck here forever
And no were not bluffing
It won’t get better
I live down on the boulevard of helplessness
Where hopes and dreams die
I live down on the boulevard of helplessness
Where hopes and dreams die
There’s no point in running
You’re stuck here forever
And no were not bluffing
It won’t get better
I live down on the boulevard of helplessness
Where hopes and dreams die
And I guess this is where it begins
With an average kid in a fucked-up town
Raped with a hypocritical religion
Where no-one let’s you sit around and frown
He wants something better and gets something better
But in the end it breaks him
So he lives on the boulevard of helplessness.
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3. |
Reborn
03:56
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I woke up like I do every other day
Eat the same old boring breakfast and then I pray
To a god that may not exist
But I can’t say a word cause they’d be pissed
Realizing that I’m right
I have wasted all my life
Will teenage angst pay off well?
Will I escape from my own personal hell?
Block the past off in the past
My whole life is changing really fucking fast
I’m waking up as a man
Finally I can rid myself of this dumb clan
And I’m dreaming, dreaming of possibilities
I cannot wait until I can rid myself of this city
Realizing that I’m right
I have wasted all my life
Will teenage angst pay off well?
Will I escape from my own personal hell?
Block the past off in the past
My whole life is changing really fucking fast
Is this real or just a dream?
Can I tear normality by the seams?
And the places that I want to go,
Are they all just for show?
I gotta get out, I gotta get out, I gotta get out, I gotta get out
I GOTTA GET OUT (hold the out)
I’ve been reborn, I’m someone new
I see them scorn, they’re in the queue
For something that they don’t deserve
They judge, they have the fucking nerve
To treat the breakouts all like shit
To try and destroy their spirits
They call us sinners, call us fags
But they hold their lives in grocery bags
I’m breaking out
I’m breaking out
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4. |
Younger
02:08
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Back when the sun shined
I was so blind
If I could go back there
What would I wear?
Would I be normal?
And act informal
Cause where the sun shined
I had no mind
Am I crazy?
A little hazy
Really lazy
Am I crazy?
When I was younger
I never knew hunger
Blissful mind
I was so blind
I believed in anything
Believed in everything
Cause where the sun shined
I had no mind
Am I crazy?
A little hazy
Really lazy
Am I crazy?
A little hazy
Really lazy
Am I crazy?
Am I crazy?
A little hazy
Really lazy
Am I crazy?
A little hazy
Really lazy
Am I crazy?
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5. |
Salad Days
03:23
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I’ll suppress my anger into blood and sweat and tears
Know my decision was the one that brought me here
And I’m not going to turn back
I’ll just wait a while; maybe they’ll cut me some slack
Horrible tastes it is just a phase
Things that seem laced it’s just salad days
But I’m young and I am able to do anything I want
Caught in a free to roam reality that I’m willing to flaunt
And I am not sure where my futures going to take me
But all I know is if I try they will never break me
Base my life on indiscretions and tasteless memories
If I could throw it on the ground it would be up to my knees
And the pain I am feeling is it normal is it wrong
If I keep it all flowing will I one day be strong
Horrible tastes it is just a phase
Things that seem laced it’s just salad days
But I’m young and I am able to do anything I want
Caught in a free to roam reality that I’m willing to flaunt
And I am not sure where my futures going to take me
But all I know is if I try they will never break me
Horrible tastes it is just a phase
Things that seem laced it’s just salad days
But I’m young and I am able to do anything I want
Caught in a free to roam reality that I’m willing to flaunt
And I am not sure where my futures going to take me
But all I know is if I try they will never break me
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6. |
Skumbag
04:25
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Exponential bullshit of an unknown degree
I bet no-one is wondering why I’d rather flee
Than be a part of people who believe they’re doing god’s business
Or is that just an excuse to act all cruel and vicious
Hating people just because they have different views
In the end will they be the ones who lose
I need something
There to hold onto to keep me floating
I need something
There to hold onto to keep me floating
Burn all the heathens and the rest of them too
Call tragedies good bid the dead adieu
Hypocritical lives with hypocritical views
Walking away is a god-damned coup
I’m-a live in a world where the skies shine blue
In the end will they be the ones to lose
I need something
There to hold onto to keep me floating
I need something
There to hold onto to keep me floating
A stoner, a moaner, a merciless groaner
Are words that they call me.
A drag, a fag, a lost scumbag
I guess that’s the price of being able to see
A stoner, a moaner, a merciless groaner
Are words that they call me.
A drag, a fag, a lost scumbag
I guess that’s the price of being able to see
I need something
There to hold onto to keep me floating
I need something
There to hold onto to keep me floating
I need something
There to hold onto to keep me floating
I need something
There to hold onto to keep me floating
I need something
There to hold onto to keep me floating
I need something
There to hold onto to keep me floating
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7. |
All Your Fault
01:39
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You think you’re so special but you’re nothing but a dick
Everything about you is enough to make me sick
Your controversial views make you such a hypocrite
You think you’re so special but you’re so full of shit
Go ahead and be who you are cause it doesn’t bother me
But you piss so many people off I’m surprised you cannot see
That it’s all your fault
All you ever do is complain about everything
And wonder why you don’t live the life of a king
Everyone has problems but that is no excuse
To create arguments that all stem from you
Go ahead and be who you are cause it doesn’t bother me
But you piss so many people off I’m surprised you cannot see
That it’s all your fault
Go ahead and be who you are cause it doesn’t bother me
But you piss so many people off I’m surprised you cannot see
Go ahead and be who you are cause it doesn’t bother me
But you piss so many people off I’m surprised you cannot see
That it’s all your fault
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8. |
A Little Bit
02:43
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9. |
Burn Suburbia Burn
04:41
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I’m a fly and you’re a spider
I’m caught inside your web
You treat me like an outsider
You judge my every step
I’ve got my hopes and dreams
They’re gonna make me scream
‘Cause in reality
They fuel my irrationality
All that I’ve done I did it for you
What you said you felt, it was all un-true
I’ve made a lot of mistakes but it don’t take away
Every second with you I am led astray
I push myself off a cliff for the thrill of it
I run away from the easy life
All the lies I’m fed are bullshit
Won’t be a working man with an average wife
Never miss the security
Of a nuclear family
Chocked full of vanity
I run away guiltily
All that I’ve done I did it for you
What you said you felt, it was all un-true
I’ve made a lot of mistakes but it don’t take away
Every second with you I am led astray
I’m sick of living a lie
I would rather die
Than be apart of a false religion
I’ve got my hands on the noose
And I am cutting it loose
And escaping from this prison
Burn suburbia down
It made us look like clowns
Sunshine hiding depression
I’ve got my hands on the gun
I promise this will be fun
Fuck you, the sinking digression
I’m lost, I’m found
The path is over
I heal all my wounds
Hello, fellow soldiers
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10. |
Behind
04:13
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Watch my life
It fades out
Curtains fall
And I don’t mind
Hateful thoughts are rife
I’m full of doubt
Start to crawl
Leave my life behind
What if nothingness
Became everything
What if emptiness
Won’t let my life begin
I still can’t find who I am
And I feel it’s all a sham
Broken feelings in my mind
Afraid of what I’ll leave behind
There’s no reason
To be like this
I’ve had it easy
I am lucky
My life’s like treason
I’m left remiss
And I miss
Happiness
What if nothingness
Became everything
What if emptiness
Won’t let my life begin
I still can’t find who I am
And I feel it’s all a sham
Broken feelings in my mind
Afraid of what I’ll leave behind
I still can’t find who I am
And I feel it’s all a sham
Broken feelings in my mind
Afraid of what I’ll leave behind
I still can’t find who I am
And I feel it’s all a sham
Broken feelings in my mind
Afraid of what I’ll leave behind
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11. |
Broke Through
04:51
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You have been dragged through shit
Now it’s time to admit
It’s in your head the hate you have
It’s not their fault you’ve become mad
You could’ve accepted it but now you’re here
You challenged the system and your puppeteer
You’re not the only one who feels how you do
Welcome home, you broke through
Join us if you’re willing to fight
With us they’ll be no contrite
We’ll set the world alight
Burn all evilness into the night
Welcome to our domain
We don’t label insane
We’re sick of all the pain
We’re fighting back against the system
Be however you are
Don’t be ashamed of your scars
You’ve come so far
We’ll prove your worthy of existence
Join us if you’re willing to fight
With us they’ll be no contrite
We’ll set the world alight
Burn all evilness into the night
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12. |
Cut
03:38
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Last regrets tonight, you know it won’t be alright
So you try to mask the pain with the music that you play
And you’re up and down with a big frown
You’re not alright so you bite the hand that feeds you
Last regrets tonight
It’s alright, you fight but it is trite
You bleed and cry and everything is fine
That is no excuse you lose you’re in the blues
Your actions dumb, you say that it was fun
But I’m not buying that for a second, look back at the black reflection on the wall
Last regrets tonight, your future isn’t bright
No-one’s there for you and you like to see blood spew
And you’re up and down you’re homeward bound
You ask for pain and you’re the one they blame
Last regrets tonight
It’s alright, you fight but it is trite
You bleed and cry and everything is fine
That is no excuse you lose you’re in the blues
Your actions dumb, you say that it was fun
But I’m buying that for a second, look back at the black reflection on the wall
Remember the girl who was full of glee
She used smile so happily
Now she’s up and down with a big frown
She hates herself and makes her pay for it
Whatever happened to her spirit?
We used to say, when you’re lost away from home
Locked away with nowhere left to roam
Look back at the black reflection on the wall
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13. |
Absentee
03:49
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I’m going back to how I felt all that time ago
If we do this will we have something or will we just go slow?
Is it a dream of yours like it is mine could something ever happen
I’m waiting for a response or at least a reaction
Pessimistic,
Expectations un-realistic
If we ever happen will I make us something new
Not a another boring cliché in a time that’s so askew
Will we break tradition and be more than just a fad
A young couple too stupid to see what they had
And I’m jealous when I look at all the other happy people
Cause their confidence constantly makes me feel feeble
If I could be like them would I be more than just an absentee
To people I’ve known and seen I’m a another fucking memory
Pessimistic,
Expectations un-realistic
If we ever happen will I make us something new
Not a another boring cliché in a time that’s so askew
Will we break tradition and be more than just a fad
A young couple too stupid to see what they had
When I’m sure, nothing goes to plan
Is there a cure, to being oh so bland
Could I be someone if i tried
Who still ain’t done when he’s died
I’m just unknown
If we ever happen will I make us something new
Not a another boring cliché in a time that’s so askew
Will we break tradition and be more than just a fad
A young couple too stupid to see what they had
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14. |
Solace
04:17
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I sit all alone and I think of how I’ve grown
But yet to you I am still unknown
Is there a way to break that barrier into your heart
But I’m scared and afraid and wouldn’t know where to start
See me trying
Confidence dying
Let me come in faster
You can be my master
I’ll sit back and take it
If you’ll promise not to break it
I feel so much pain, she shot me down again
But she never listens when I promise
To give nothing but constant solace
See me trying
Confidence dying
Let me come in faster
You can be my master
I’ll sit back and take it
If you’ll promise not to break it
Let me be your something
I’m sick of being nothing
I wish you would let me
Clear up all your debris
Let me come in faster
You can be my master
I’ll sit back and take it
If you’ll promise not to break it
Let me be your something
I’m sick of being nothing
I wish you would let me
Clear up all your debris
Let me come in faster
You can be my master
I’ll sit back and take it
If you’ll promise not to break it
Let me be your something
I’m sick of being nothing
I wish you would let me
Clear up all your debris
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15. |
Titanism
03:53
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Stuck inside a lonely boredom
I am looking for something important
I am wasting my life
In a family of self-indulgence
So I grab the knife
And I cut myself out of abundance
So I laugh and I cry
I hope that I die
And stop being an average guy
I kick and I scream
And dream of a scheme
I cut myself out of the seems
When life is too hard for me to handle
I feel like I have to make an example
Of kids scared of those who are grown
I’m creating a life
In a family that’s always there
So I grab my knife
And tell everybody beware
So I laugh and I cry
I hope that I die
And stop being an average guy
I kick and I scream
And dream of a scheme
I cut myself out of the seems
When life is too hard for me to handle
I feel like I have to make an example
Of kids scared of those who are grown
It’s all just a dream
It’s all just a dream
But could it be more than just a dream?
It’s all just a dream
So I laugh and I cry
I hope that I die
And stop being an average guy
I kick and I scream
And dream of a scheme
I cut myself out of the seems
When life is too hard for me to handle
I feel like I have to make an example
Of kids scared of those who are grown
It’s all just a dream
It’s all just a dream
But could it be more than just a dream?
It’s all just a dream
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16. |
One of Us
03:43
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One of us is in the wrong
One of us has lied all along
One of us isn’t meant to be
Living careless and I think that’s me
One of us has cheated on their lives
One of us hates being alive
One of us has been to hell and back
One of us has a heart so black
But it is what we make it
Young and full of spirit
We’ll all grow up and change who we are
So why should we care if happiness is far
What do we have to be afraid about
There’s no point living life in doubt
One of us is not who we are
One of us is trying to hide the scars
One of us has got a lot to say
But keeps his mouth closed anyway
But it is what we make it
Young and full of spirit
We’ll all grow up and change who we are
So why should we care if happiness is far
What do we have to be afraid about
There’s no point living life in doubt
One of us has gone all the way
One of us lives life astray
One of us will grow up to be
Just another painful memory
We’ll all grow up and change who we are
So why should we care if happiness is far
What do we have to be afraid about
There’s no point living life in doubt
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17. |
Turn Back
03:27
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There are dirty clothes
Scattered across the floor
All that I know
Is that I’m screaming for more
I can’t get out
But would I if I could
I’m stuck in a drought
It feels so bad yet good
The blood is spilt
I’m drenched in guilt
I’m stuck in a loop and I can’t get out
My arms they droop and they’re starting to spout
All that I know is the dark’s jet black
I’m loving the pain and I won’t turn back.
I’m feeling a shock
Running through my veins
I look at the clock
The time is keeping me sane
Will she run out?
Of instruments I’m sure
I’m still stuck in a drought
Can’t distinguish pain or pleasure
The blood is spilt
I’m drenched in guilt
I’m stuck in a loop and I can’t get out
My arms they droop and they’re starting to spout
All that I know is the dark’s jet black
I’m loving the pain and I won’t turn back.
But yet I’m sure that no-one’s coming to save me
There is no cure to the dark pleasure that ails me
I’m stuck in a loop and I can’t get out
My arms they droop and they’re starting to spout
All that I know is the dark’s jet black
I’m loving the pain and I won’t turn back.
I’m stuck in a loop and I can’t get out
My arms they droop and they’re starting to spout
All that I know is the dark’s jet black
I’m loving the pain and I won’t turn back.
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18. |
Fire from Above
03:33
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19. |
Everything Left
06:00
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20. |
Paper House
04:06
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What does winter hold for us?
Will you learn to accept the cuts?
Will we burn our paper house?
And stare at the moon to hear the howls
We are broken, we are open
What life does to us.
When will I know it?
When can I show it?
Is this the end of us?
I’m home.
Back where I was criticized
Back where I felt paralysed
Back where hypocrisy lays
Back where personality is called a phase
We are burning, we are learning
It’s what life does to us
When will I know it?
When can I show it?
Is this the end of us?
I’m home.
Please don’t hate me, please don’t slate me
Remember what we had
It may be over, we may be sober
Please just don’t get mad
I’m glad
What does winter hold for us?
Will you learn to accept the cuts?
Will we burn our paper house?
And stare at the moon to hear the howls
We are broken, we are open
It’s what life does to us
When will I know it?
When can I show it?
Is this the end of us?
I’m home.
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Chris Holland Portsmouth, UK
Portsmouth based singer/songwriter Chris Holland consistently subverts expectations and blends a vast array of genres and
sounds together including Indie Rock, Folk, Pop, Synthpop and Emo.
His new album 'Abyss of Eternity' sees him working with the elusive virtual band 'Material Panic' looking to warn the world of the societal/economical dangers we pose to ourselves.
... more
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