We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Sex, Lies & Bombs (Demo Album)

by Chris Holland

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.
    Purchasable with gift card

      name your price

     

1.
2.
I live down on the boulevard of helplessness Where hopes and dreams die I was born in times of bombs and constant stress Where death was better than being alive Welcome to the show of the kids stuck below There are tons of attractions here to hold your eyes Like blood and death and hopelessness We hope that you won’t cry Down on the boulevard we kick and scream And quietly hope that we won’t have to stay Down here the kids all sit and we dream While our parents sit around and pray I live down on the boulevard of helplessness Where hopes and dreams die There’s no point in running You’re stuck here forever And no were not bluffing It won’t get better I live down on the boulevard of helplessness Where hopes and dreams die I live down on the boulevard of helplessness Where hopes and dreams die There’s no point in running You’re stuck here forever And no were not bluffing It won’t get better I live down on the boulevard of helplessness Where hopes and dreams die And I guess this is where it begins With an average kid in a fucked-up town Raped with a hypocritical religion Where no-one let’s you sit around and frown He wants something better and gets something better But in the end it breaks him So he lives on the boulevard of helplessness.
3.
Reborn 03:56
I woke up like I do every other day Eat the same old boring breakfast and then I pray To a god that may not exist But I can’t say a word cause they’d be pissed Realizing that I’m right I have wasted all my life Will teenage angst pay off well? Will I escape from my own personal hell? Block the past off in the past My whole life is changing really fucking fast I’m waking up as a man Finally I can rid myself of this dumb clan And I’m dreaming, dreaming of possibilities I cannot wait until I can rid myself of this city Realizing that I’m right I have wasted all my life Will teenage angst pay off well? Will I escape from my own personal hell? Block the past off in the past My whole life is changing really fucking fast Is this real or just a dream? Can I tear normality by the seams? And the places that I want to go, Are they all just for show? I gotta get out, I gotta get out, I gotta get out, I gotta get out I GOTTA GET OUT (hold the out) I’ve been reborn, I’m someone new I see them scorn, they’re in the queue For something that they don’t deserve They judge, they have the fucking nerve To treat the breakouts all like shit To try and destroy their spirits They call us sinners, call us fags But they hold their lives in grocery bags I’m breaking out I’m breaking out
4.
Younger 02:08
Back when the sun shined I was so blind If I could go back there What would I wear? Would I be normal? And act informal Cause where the sun shined I had no mind Am I crazy? A little hazy Really lazy Am I crazy? When I was younger I never knew hunger Blissful mind I was so blind I believed in anything Believed in everything Cause where the sun shined I had no mind Am I crazy? A little hazy Really lazy Am I crazy? A little hazy Really lazy Am I crazy? Am I crazy? A little hazy Really lazy Am I crazy? A little hazy Really lazy Am I crazy?
5.
Salad Days 03:23
I’ll suppress my anger into blood and sweat and tears Know my decision was the one that brought me here And I’m not going to turn back I’ll just wait a while; maybe they’ll cut me some slack Horrible tastes it is just a phase Things that seem laced it’s just salad days But I’m young and I am able to do anything I want Caught in a free to roam reality that I’m willing to flaunt And I am not sure where my futures going to take me But all I know is if I try they will never break me Base my life on indiscretions and tasteless memories If I could throw it on the ground it would be up to my knees And the pain I am feeling is it normal is it wrong If I keep it all flowing will I one day be strong Horrible tastes it is just a phase Things that seem laced it’s just salad days But I’m young and I am able to do anything I want Caught in a free to roam reality that I’m willing to flaunt And I am not sure where my futures going to take me But all I know is if I try they will never break me Horrible tastes it is just a phase Things that seem laced it’s just salad days But I’m young and I am able to do anything I want Caught in a free to roam reality that I’m willing to flaunt And I am not sure where my futures going to take me But all I know is if I try they will never break me
6.
Skumbag 04:25
Exponential bullshit of an unknown degree I bet no-one is wondering why I’d rather flee Than be a part of people who believe they’re doing god’s business Or is that just an excuse to act all cruel and vicious Hating people just because they have different views In the end will they be the ones who lose I need something There to hold onto to keep me floating I need something There to hold onto to keep me floating Burn all the heathens and the rest of them too Call tragedies good bid the dead adieu Hypocritical lives with hypocritical views Walking away is a god-damned coup I’m-a live in a world where the skies shine blue In the end will they be the ones to lose I need something There to hold onto to keep me floating I need something There to hold onto to keep me floating A stoner, a moaner, a merciless groaner Are words that they call me. A drag, a fag, a lost scumbag I guess that’s the price of being able to see A stoner, a moaner, a merciless groaner Are words that they call me. A drag, a fag, a lost scumbag I guess that’s the price of being able to see I need something There to hold onto to keep me floating I need something There to hold onto to keep me floating I need something There to hold onto to keep me floating I need something There to hold onto to keep me floating I need something There to hold onto to keep me floating I need something There to hold onto to keep me floating
7.
You think you’re so special but you’re nothing but a dick Everything about you is enough to make me sick Your controversial views make you such a hypocrite You think you’re so special but you’re so full of shit Go ahead and be who you are cause it doesn’t bother me But you piss so many people off I’m surprised you cannot see That it’s all your fault All you ever do is complain about everything And wonder why you don’t live the life of a king Everyone has problems but that is no excuse To create arguments that all stem from you Go ahead and be who you are cause it doesn’t bother me But you piss so many people off I’m surprised you cannot see That it’s all your fault Go ahead and be who you are cause it doesn’t bother me But you piss so many people off I’m surprised you cannot see Go ahead and be who you are cause it doesn’t bother me But you piss so many people off I’m surprised you cannot see That it’s all your fault
8.
A Little Bit 02:43
9.
I’m a fly and you’re a spider I’m caught inside your web You treat me like an outsider You judge my every step I’ve got my hopes and dreams They’re gonna make me scream ‘Cause in reality They fuel my irrationality All that I’ve done I did it for you What you said you felt, it was all un-true I’ve made a lot of mistakes but it don’t take away Every second with you I am led astray I push myself off a cliff for the thrill of it I run away from the easy life All the lies I’m fed are bullshit Won’t be a working man with an average wife Never miss the security Of a nuclear family Chocked full of vanity I run away guiltily All that I’ve done I did it for you What you said you felt, it was all un-true I’ve made a lot of mistakes but it don’t take away Every second with you I am led astray I’m sick of living a lie I would rather die Than be apart of a false religion I’ve got my hands on the noose And I am cutting it loose And escaping from this prison Burn suburbia down It made us look like clowns Sunshine hiding depression I’ve got my hands on the gun I promise this will be fun Fuck you, the sinking digression I’m lost, I’m found The path is over I heal all my wounds Hello, fellow soldiers
10.
Behind 04:13
Watch my life It fades out Curtains fall And I don’t mind Hateful thoughts are rife I’m full of doubt Start to crawl Leave my life behind What if nothingness Became everything What if emptiness Won’t let my life begin I still can’t find who I am And I feel it’s all a sham Broken feelings in my mind Afraid of what I’ll leave behind There’s no reason To be like this I’ve had it easy I am lucky My life’s like treason I’m left remiss And I miss Happiness What if nothingness Became everything What if emptiness Won’t let my life begin I still can’t find who I am And I feel it’s all a sham Broken feelings in my mind Afraid of what I’ll leave behind I still can’t find who I am And I feel it’s all a sham Broken feelings in my mind Afraid of what I’ll leave behind I still can’t find who I am And I feel it’s all a sham Broken feelings in my mind Afraid of what I’ll leave behind
11.
You have been dragged through shit Now it’s time to admit It’s in your head the hate you have It’s not their fault you’ve become mad You could’ve accepted it but now you’re here You challenged the system and your puppeteer You’re not the only one who feels how you do Welcome home, you broke through Join us if you’re willing to fight With us they’ll be no contrite We’ll set the world alight Burn all evilness into the night Welcome to our domain We don’t label insane We’re sick of all the pain We’re fighting back against the system Be however you are Don’t be ashamed of your scars You’ve come so far We’ll prove your worthy of existence Join us if you’re willing to fight With us they’ll be no contrite We’ll set the world alight Burn all evilness into the night
12.
Cut 03:38
Last regrets tonight, you know it won’t be alright So you try to mask the pain with the music that you play And you’re up and down with a big frown You’re not alright so you bite the hand that feeds you Last regrets tonight It’s alright, you fight but it is trite You bleed and cry and everything is fine That is no excuse you lose you’re in the blues Your actions dumb, you say that it was fun But I’m not buying that for a second, look back at the black reflection on the wall Last regrets tonight, your future isn’t bright No-one’s there for you and you like to see blood spew And you’re up and down you’re homeward bound You ask for pain and you’re the one they blame Last regrets tonight It’s alright, you fight but it is trite You bleed and cry and everything is fine That is no excuse you lose you’re in the blues Your actions dumb, you say that it was fun But I’m buying that for a second, look back at the black reflection on the wall Remember the girl who was full of glee She used smile so happily Now she’s up and down with a big frown She hates herself and makes her pay for it Whatever happened to her spirit? We used to say, when you’re lost away from home Locked away with nowhere left to roam Look back at the black reflection on the wall
13.
Absentee 03:49
I’m going back to how I felt all that time ago If we do this will we have something or will we just go slow? Is it a dream of yours like it is mine could something ever happen I’m waiting for a response or at least a reaction Pessimistic, Expectations un-realistic If we ever happen will I make us something new Not a another boring cliché in a time that’s so askew Will we break tradition and be more than just a fad A young couple too stupid to see what they had And I’m jealous when I look at all the other happy people Cause their confidence constantly makes me feel feeble If I could be like them would I be more than just an absentee To people I’ve known and seen I’m a another fucking memory Pessimistic, Expectations un-realistic If we ever happen will I make us something new Not a another boring cliché in a time that’s so askew Will we break tradition and be more than just a fad A young couple too stupid to see what they had When I’m sure, nothing goes to plan Is there a cure, to being oh so bland Could I be someone if i tried Who still ain’t done when he’s died I’m just unknown If we ever happen will I make us something new Not a another boring cliché in a time that’s so askew Will we break tradition and be more than just a fad A young couple too stupid to see what they had
14.
Solace 04:17
I sit all alone and I think of how I’ve grown But yet to you I am still unknown Is there a way to break that barrier into your heart But I’m scared and afraid and wouldn’t know where to start See me trying Confidence dying Let me come in faster You can be my master I’ll sit back and take it If you’ll promise not to break it I feel so much pain, she shot me down again But she never listens when I promise To give nothing but constant solace See me trying Confidence dying Let me come in faster You can be my master I’ll sit back and take it If you’ll promise not to break it Let me be your something I’m sick of being nothing I wish you would let me Clear up all your debris Let me come in faster You can be my master I’ll sit back and take it If you’ll promise not to break it Let me be your something I’m sick of being nothing I wish you would let me Clear up all your debris Let me come in faster You can be my master I’ll sit back and take it If you’ll promise not to break it Let me be your something I’m sick of being nothing I wish you would let me Clear up all your debris
15.
Titanism 03:53
Stuck inside a lonely boredom I am looking for something important I am wasting my life In a family of self-indulgence So I grab the knife And I cut myself out of abundance So I laugh and I cry I hope that I die And stop being an average guy I kick and I scream And dream of a scheme I cut myself out of the seems When life is too hard for me to handle I feel like I have to make an example Of kids scared of those who are grown I’m creating a life In a family that’s always there So I grab my knife And tell everybody beware So I laugh and I cry I hope that I die And stop being an average guy I kick and I scream And dream of a scheme I cut myself out of the seems When life is too hard for me to handle I feel like I have to make an example Of kids scared of those who are grown It’s all just a dream It’s all just a dream But could it be more than just a dream? It’s all just a dream So I laugh and I cry I hope that I die And stop being an average guy I kick and I scream And dream of a scheme I cut myself out of the seems When life is too hard for me to handle I feel like I have to make an example Of kids scared of those who are grown It’s all just a dream It’s all just a dream But could it be more than just a dream? It’s all just a dream
16.
One of Us 03:43
One of us is in the wrong One of us has lied all along One of us isn’t meant to be Living careless and I think that’s me One of us has cheated on their lives One of us hates being alive One of us has been to hell and back One of us has a heart so black But it is what we make it Young and full of spirit We’ll all grow up and change who we are So why should we care if happiness is far What do we have to be afraid about There’s no point living life in doubt One of us is not who we are One of us is trying to hide the scars One of us has got a lot to say But keeps his mouth closed anyway But it is what we make it Young and full of spirit We’ll all grow up and change who we are So why should we care if happiness is far What do we have to be afraid about There’s no point living life in doubt One of us has gone all the way One of us lives life astray One of us will grow up to be Just another painful memory We’ll all grow up and change who we are So why should we care if happiness is far What do we have to be afraid about There’s no point living life in doubt
17.
Turn Back 03:27
There are dirty clothes Scattered across the floor All that I know Is that I’m screaming for more I can’t get out But would I if I could I’m stuck in a drought It feels so bad yet good The blood is spilt I’m drenched in guilt I’m stuck in a loop and I can’t get out My arms they droop and they’re starting to spout All that I know is the dark’s jet black I’m loving the pain and I won’t turn back. I’m feeling a shock Running through my veins I look at the clock The time is keeping me sane Will she run out? Of instruments I’m sure I’m still stuck in a drought Can’t distinguish pain or pleasure The blood is spilt I’m drenched in guilt I’m stuck in a loop and I can’t get out My arms they droop and they’re starting to spout All that I know is the dark’s jet black I’m loving the pain and I won’t turn back. But yet I’m sure that no-one’s coming to save me There is no cure to the dark pleasure that ails me I’m stuck in a loop and I can’t get out My arms they droop and they’re starting to spout All that I know is the dark’s jet black I’m loving the pain and I won’t turn back. I’m stuck in a loop and I can’t get out My arms they droop and they’re starting to spout All that I know is the dark’s jet black I’m loving the pain and I won’t turn back.
18.
19.
20.
Paper House 04:06
What does winter hold for us? Will you learn to accept the cuts? Will we burn our paper house? And stare at the moon to hear the howls We are broken, we are open What life does to us. When will I know it? When can I show it? Is this the end of us? I’m home. Back where I was criticized Back where I felt paralysed Back where hypocrisy lays Back where personality is called a phase We are burning, we are learning It’s what life does to us When will I know it? When can I show it? Is this the end of us? I’m home. Please don’t hate me, please don’t slate me Remember what we had It may be over, we may be sober Please just don’t get mad I’m glad What does winter hold for us? Will you learn to accept the cuts? Will we burn our paper house? And stare at the moon to hear the howls We are broken, we are open It’s what life does to us When will I know it? When can I show it? Is this the end of us? I’m home.

about

From 2014 to 2015 I made 20 demos for a concept album/rock opera I wanted to make called 'Sex, Lies & Bombs.' However, due to the lyrics not really fitting any sort of story and the pop-punk/emo style being one that I didn't want to pursue, the album was scrapped. Some of the songs have been re-recorded/re-written (and there's a possibility some others from it will be in the future). But this is the first time I've released it to the public.

credits

released August 24, 2020

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Chris Holland Portsmouth, UK

Portsmouth based singer/songwriter Chris Holland consistently subverts expectations and blends a vast array of genres and sounds together including Indie Rock, Folk, Pop, Synthpop and Emo.
His new album 'Abyss of Eternity' sees him working with the elusive virtual band 'Material Panic' looking to warn the world of the societal/economical dangers we pose to ourselves.
... more

contact / help

Contact Chris Holland

Streaming and
Download help

Report this album or account

If you like Chris Holland, you may also like: